She wants the no-contact order lifted too. How do we get rid of it?

Only a judge can lift it, and until a judge does, it stays fully in force, even if both of you want it gone.

Why can't the two of you just agree to end it?

The order belongs to the court, not to her. Nothing in Tennessee law gives the protected person the power to cancel a no-contact condition or an order of protection. She can ask the court to change it, but her wishes do not change it on their own. Even an agreement the two of you write up has no legal effect until a judge approves it and enters it as an order.

What if she's the one reaching out?

The order restrains you, not her. She breaks no law by calling, texting or inviting you over, but if you knowingly answer or go, you are the one who can be arrested. "She said it was fine" is not a defense, and Tennessee's appeals courts have turned down the "but she called me" argument more than once. Passing a message through a friend, a relative or a child counts as contact too.

Is there only one order to deal with?

Often there are two. If you were arrested, the criminal case usually carries a no-contact condition of your release, and a separate civil order of protection may be running in a different court. Each one can be changed only in its own court, and getting one lifted leaves the other completely intact. If you make contact after winning on one, you can still be arrested on the other.

How does a judge actually lift it?

In the criminal case, you ask the court handling the charge to review your release conditions. That case is between you and the State, so the prosecutor gets notice of your request, and she is not a party to it at all. For the order of protection, you go back to the court that issued it, and as the person restrained you have to file a motion with a sworn statement showing that circumstances have changed enough to justify the change. She can also ask that court to modify the order herself. Some orders are far harder to change than others, and a lifetime order of protection has no route in the statute for changing it at all. An order can also end when it expires on its own terms. Whether a judge grants any request depends on the facts and on the judge.

Can I relax while the request is pending?

No. The order stays fully in force while your request is pending and while any appeal is going on. Breaking a condition of release is now a separate crime in its own right, and it can mean arrest without a warrant and your bond being revoked. Since July 2026, the judge can also hold you without bail for up to ten days while waiting for a revocation hearing. And if the court finds you violated an order of protection, it can make that order last longer, up to five years on a first violation finding.

So what should you do?

Have a lawyer ask the court properly, and act as though nothing has changed until a judge signs something that says it has. If she reaches out in the meantime, don't answer, and call your lawyer instead.

About the Author

David G. Ridings is a Nashville criminal defense attorney, former police officer, and former prosecutor with nearly 40 years of experience in the Tennessee justice system. Known as “DrJudge,” he educates hundreds of thousands about their rights during police encounters.

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